ETA: 7 to 10 Weeks
Pookie had yet another ultrasound today, and like the whacked out Jesus freak by the shwarma shop downtown says, the end is nigh. The ultrasound tech didn't have crazy hair and a load of crap in her pants, but the message was still fairly consistent.
Our little Pooklings are still cooking at a great rate, they are all officially over the one pound mark. This means that each of them are actually larger than the average singleton at the 23 week mark. That's right people, they aren't even out of the womb and I am already one of those obnoxious parents bragging about their kids.
Papa Jeff: You should see little Huey's femur, it`s well above average for a multiple at the 23 week mark!!!!
Anyone Else: I don`t know who you are, but I hope you have a designated driver.
I have always disliked it when people brag about their kids, yet find myself doing it before mine are even born. I also have a recycling bin sitting next to the biggest SUV I could find. Ah, hypocrisy, how sweet the sound.
We have probably four or five ultrasounds left, and we should see the growth slow down a bit as they get older. Just think of the yapping if it doesn`t.
We are still accumulating a few things but are basically loaded up. A big thank you to Corwin and Heather, Laura, Melissa and everyone else that has sent baby gear our way. We appreciate it and will be sure to pass it on the next lucky couple with as little vomit and dog slobber on it as possible. I think that when you are about to be a parent and you realize how badly Babies `R Us screws people over, you make a little vow that at least a few babies use it before it winds up in a closet.
Side Note to Babies `R Us:
Now that some dude in Uruguay checked the blog, I have officially have readers on four continents and ten countries. You wanna stop getting bad mouthed all over the world (to like, 23 people, but still, worldwide), either send me some free shit Jon and Kate style, or lower some prices. $1500 for a stroller is theft, I don`t care if it has cupholders and chrome rims.
In other news, I had a quick work trip to Vancouver early this week, quite likely the last time I will be on a plane for a while. I am not going to go as far as to say Vancouver has a monopoly on idiots, but there certainly isn`t a shortage. About thirty people found out I had triplets on the way, and at least three approached me and asked me if they were natural with even introducing themselves first. The conversation below actually happened.
Total Stranger: Hey man, I heard you`re having triplets, how`d that happen?
Papa Jeff: And you are?
Total Stranger: I'm Phil McKrackin, I sell mutual funds in Vernon (not his real name, but who gives a shit). So are they natural?
Papa Jeff: Two of them are, the third is made out of aluminum.
Total Stranger: Seriously, did you guys take fertility drugs or something?
Papa Jeff: I tell you what, you tell me what medications you and your family are on, and I'll tell you all about it. I have to go over to the other side of the room now, thank you so much for the chat.
Like I said, no knob shortage in that place. Maybe we are getting a little sensitive, but grilling someone on their family planning methods before you introduce yourself is assholery where I come from.
Have a great Halloween everyone. Nothing like seeing the same kids that get dragged into church every Sunday by their parents get costumed up and sent out into the world to take part in a pagan ritual!
Keep fit and have fun.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I'm Lazy, Shoot Me
It has been a while since my last blog, and really it's because there isn't a lot going on in Baby Town. Whaddya gonna do?
We had a great Jack and Jill baby shower on Saturday thanks to our friends Pam and Greg, thanks again both of you, everyone had a great time and you did a wonderful job with everything. You two is some great people. Like I said at the shower, it was kind of like our wedding, a lot of friends and family were there, there was free booze, and then we got a bunch of free stuff at the end. Gotta love it.
Our fridge has officially crapped out, so tomorrow morning Pookie and I are headed on down to Leon's for a new one (oh, the excitement). It should only take about ten minutes to pick our fridge out, and then about an hour to scrub off the smell of desperation from the sales guy that will undoubtedly pounce on us like rabbits at the front door. This has been the most exciting part of the weekend so far.
We had our 3-D ultrasound on Wednesday, and it was a touch underwhelming. Almost all of the pictures look like someone put a spotlight on a pile of guts and then snapped a shot with a disposable camera out the window of a moving car. A couple good ones are below.
You can kind of make out babies in most of these, some are definitely better than others.
Fetus C seems to be the aspiring model of the three. He is still shocked that Calgary has an East Indian mayor. Believe it little buddy, believe it.
This is the best one, the little guy looks like he just punted Pookie in the uterus. Most likely because he just punted Pookie in the uterus.
Everyone is feeling great, things are good, and I promise I will write a bigger blog when I get back from Vancouver during the week.
Until next time sports fans.
We had a great Jack and Jill baby shower on Saturday thanks to our friends Pam and Greg, thanks again both of you, everyone had a great time and you did a wonderful job with everything. You two is some great people. Like I said at the shower, it was kind of like our wedding, a lot of friends and family were there, there was free booze, and then we got a bunch of free stuff at the end. Gotta love it.
Our fridge has officially crapped out, so tomorrow morning Pookie and I are headed on down to Leon's for a new one (oh, the excitement). It should only take about ten minutes to pick our fridge out, and then about an hour to scrub off the smell of desperation from the sales guy that will undoubtedly pounce on us like rabbits at the front door. This has been the most exciting part of the weekend so far.
We had our 3-D ultrasound on Wednesday, and it was a touch underwhelming. Almost all of the pictures look like someone put a spotlight on a pile of guts and then snapped a shot with a disposable camera out the window of a moving car. A couple good ones are below.
Everyone is feeling great, things are good, and I promise I will write a bigger blog when I get back from Vancouver during the week.
Until next time sports fans.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
D.I.N.Ks No More
Double Income, No Kids, No Longer
Pookie has officially become a homemaker, and life at the Old McCrimmon Ranch is looking up. I'm talking packed lunches that aren't just leftovers, jammy jams warmed up in the dryer, and almost 30% less animal hair stuck to your socks when you cross a carpeted floor. Right now I am living in that glorious window where Pookie feels good enough to get around the house, but not quite good enough to sit in an office chair all day. This is truly the calm before the baby hurricane, or babycane, if you will.
We are continuing to fortify the house, the cribs are officially set up (Dusty could sleep in one, but the bars remind him of being thrown in the drunk tank too much), and clothes and toys are starting to fill closets. The baby bobsled stroller is en route, the suburban is gassed up, and the jolly jumper is primed and ready. As it stands, there is not really a lot more we can prepare.
Side Note - I don't know why every piece of furniture you can buy must be put together using a tiny Allen Key screwdriver, but if I find out it was your idea you can expect a strongly worded letter from my attorney. Or Dusty, whoever bills less per hour.
Pookie and I continue to be blown away by how excited and supportive our friends and family have been, and cannot thank you enough. We were down in Pincher for Thanksgiving last weekend and a few questions came up more than others.
A typical conversation I have been having:
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "Wow, you better start saving up your sleep time!"
Papa Jeff: "That's simply ridiculous. Sleep can't be saved anymore than wind-generated electricity can, so get used to me being cranky and make sure your power grid is hooked up to a dirty coal-fired power plant."
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "How huge is Pookie getting?"
Papa Jeff: "Well, for starters, if you are going to use the word "huge" around my house, Andre the Giant better be standing in the window, and you better be pointing directly at him before you say it. Trust me. She is gorgeous and getting gorgeouser."
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "When is she due?'
Papa Jeff: "Technically she is due at the end of February, but because there are triplets she is really due just after the New Year. Really we go on high alert in mid-december, but hope they cook in there as long as possible."
Pookie is still feeling and looking great, she has been very lucky that way. There is a lot of food getting eaten, and lots of naps happening, but that is all good stuff and all part of the plan.
We have a really cool 3-D ultrasound coming up next week, I will be sure to post some pictures.
Until then peeps.
Pookie has officially become a homemaker, and life at the Old McCrimmon Ranch is looking up. I'm talking packed lunches that aren't just leftovers, jammy jams warmed up in the dryer, and almost 30% less animal hair stuck to your socks when you cross a carpeted floor. Right now I am living in that glorious window where Pookie feels good enough to get around the house, but not quite good enough to sit in an office chair all day. This is truly the calm before the baby hurricane, or babycane, if you will.
We are continuing to fortify the house, the cribs are officially set up (Dusty could sleep in one, but the bars remind him of being thrown in the drunk tank too much), and clothes and toys are starting to fill closets. The baby bobsled stroller is en route, the suburban is gassed up, and the jolly jumper is primed and ready. As it stands, there is not really a lot more we can prepare.
Side Note - I don't know why every piece of furniture you can buy must be put together using a tiny Allen Key screwdriver, but if I find out it was your idea you can expect a strongly worded letter from my attorney. Or Dusty, whoever bills less per hour.
Pookie and I continue to be blown away by how excited and supportive our friends and family have been, and cannot thank you enough. We were down in Pincher for Thanksgiving last weekend and a few questions came up more than others.
A typical conversation I have been having:
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "Wow, you better start saving up your sleep time!"
Papa Jeff: "That's simply ridiculous. Sleep can't be saved anymore than wind-generated electricity can, so get used to me being cranky and make sure your power grid is hooked up to a dirty coal-fired power plant."
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "How huge is Pookie getting?"
Papa Jeff: "Well, for starters, if you are going to use the word "huge" around my house, Andre the Giant better be standing in the window, and you better be pointing directly at him before you say it. Trust me. She is gorgeous and getting gorgeouser."
Friend / Everyone I Meet: "When is she due?'
Papa Jeff: "Technically she is due at the end of February, but because there are triplets she is really due just after the New Year. Really we go on high alert in mid-december, but hope they cook in there as long as possible."
Pookie is still feeling and looking great, she has been very lucky that way. There is a lot of food getting eaten, and lots of naps happening, but that is all good stuff and all part of the plan.
We have a really cool 3-D ultrasound coming up next week, I will be sure to post some pictures.
Until then peeps.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Be Prepared - Not Just the Boy Scouts' Motto
Honey, Please Grab Me a Screwdriver. Not too Much Orange Juice Please.
If you read my short, lazy post a few days ago, you likely gathered that we have two boys and one little girl headed our way. I know I said we didn't care what the babies were as long as they were healthy, but c'mon, we all know I was totally scared we were going to have three boys, or (scarier still), three girls. People just say they don't care because you sound kind of ungrateful when you let everyone know that being lucky enough to have three healthy babies isn't enough, you also want a particular mix of boys and girls. Its not that we weren`t grateful, we`re just elated that everything worked out the way it did.
The best part of having a mix is Pookie and I don't have to go through the fertility treatment crap again. We both wanted at least one boy and one girl, so finding out we have at least one of each on the way is a total relief. I really don't know if we would have had the stomach to go through it all again, it is absolutely no fun. Well, some parts are fun, but this is a family blog.
The second best thing about boys and a girl is that the shopping hurricane can officially strengthen to a category 5. I am not a shopper, at all. If I went nuts and decided to go postal, I wouldn't march into work with an assault rifle or charge the cockpit of a plane with a plastic butter knife, but close. What I would do is go to Costco, get one of those massive jars of mayo and smash anyone over the head that leaves their cart in the main aisle so they can mooch some free food sample or grab a pair of one-size-fits-nobody cargo pants. How anyone could look forward to heading into that unholy pit of misery on their Saturday is beyond me.
Pookie picks up the slack in this area admirably. She has been handcuffed by not knowing the sexes of the kids, but she hit the malls cash in hand and Tammy in tow this weekend. You want to see something cute, come on over and look at a pair of sweat pants made for someone 13 inches tall. Funny stuff.
The rest of the preparations are coming along, the cribs have yet to be assembled¸ but the car is great, the diapers are piling up, and the clothes buying has begun. Give us a month and this place is going to look like Chuckie God Damn Cheese.
A couple new ultrasounds are below, our little people already weigh over half a pound each! Babies A and C are the boys. I am not positive, but baby C seems to be shaking his fist at us. He might be a redhead.
We are headed down to South Pinch for Thanksgiving, give me a ring ding ding if you want to grab a beer. The window is closing people, get your Jeff and Brandi time in while you can!
If you read my short, lazy post a few days ago, you likely gathered that we have two boys and one little girl headed our way. I know I said we didn't care what the babies were as long as they were healthy, but c'mon, we all know I was totally scared we were going to have three boys, or (scarier still), three girls. People just say they don't care because you sound kind of ungrateful when you let everyone know that being lucky enough to have three healthy babies isn't enough, you also want a particular mix of boys and girls. Its not that we weren`t grateful, we`re just elated that everything worked out the way it did.
The best part of having a mix is Pookie and I don't have to go through the fertility treatment crap again. We both wanted at least one boy and one girl, so finding out we have at least one of each on the way is a total relief. I really don't know if we would have had the stomach to go through it all again, it is absolutely no fun. Well, some parts are fun, but this is a family blog.
The second best thing about boys and a girl is that the shopping hurricane can officially strengthen to a category 5. I am not a shopper, at all. If I went nuts and decided to go postal, I wouldn't march into work with an assault rifle or charge the cockpit of a plane with a plastic butter knife, but close. What I would do is go to Costco, get one of those massive jars of mayo and smash anyone over the head that leaves their cart in the main aisle so they can mooch some free food sample or grab a pair of one-size-fits-nobody cargo pants. How anyone could look forward to heading into that unholy pit of misery on their Saturday is beyond me.
Pookie picks up the slack in this area admirably. She has been handcuffed by not knowing the sexes of the kids, but she hit the malls cash in hand and Tammy in tow this weekend. You want to see something cute, come on over and look at a pair of sweat pants made for someone 13 inches tall. Funny stuff.
The rest of the preparations are coming along, the cribs have yet to be assembled¸ but the car is great, the diapers are piling up, and the clothes buying has begun. Give us a month and this place is going to look like Chuckie God Damn Cheese.
A couple new ultrasounds are below, our little people already weigh over half a pound each! Babies A and C are the boys. I am not positive, but baby C seems to be shaking his fist at us. He might be a redhead.
We are headed down to South Pinch for Thanksgiving, give me a ring ding ding if you want to grab a beer. The window is closing people, get your Jeff and Brandi time in while you can!
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